Pikes Peak, My Awesome Workout, and Some Funny Wedding Photos

I'll bet you didn't know I was keeping you in suspense.  So before you go mental on me, it's time for the big reveal.  On March 16th, I signed up for the Pikes Peak Ascent, a 13.32 mile run/jog/hike/baby steps up the side of a mountain. I'm not sure why I haven't blogged about it before now, maybe so I could have a big build up for today's press release.  I have had my eye set on this race for several years now, but I kept telling myself I wanted to get a little faster before I did it.  Well, I'm a little faster, so it's time to put up or shut up and run.  I logged in and signed up the minute online registration was available, since this race has sold out quickly before, and we all know how fast Boston sold out this year.  Turns out, the ascent hasn't sold out yet even though they are over their stated capacity.

As long as I get to the top I will set a PR since I am a Pikes Peak virgin.  The race isn't until August 20th, so I've got some time to worry train.  Anyone know how to simulate altitude sickness in Kansas?  Although it's only about the distance of a half marathon, Pikes Peak takes about the same amount of time (or longer) than a full marathon.  That's due in part to the average elevation gain of 11%, and the last part of the race being above the tree line (oxygen is so overrated).  I might not be able to qualify for the Boston Marathon yet, but this race is a different story.  By running a sub 3:45:00 marathon, I was able to get into the first wave, which means I shouldn't get stuck behind the slowest runners in the field while going up the mountain single file.  Maybe I'll be the bottleneck instead.

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This last week, I signed up for a local 2 miler on the 23rd, and a half marathon the weekend after.  Although I consider myself a marathoner first, I do enjoy the shorter distances.  By enjoying shorter distances, I mean there's more pain, but it's over quicker and you still get food at the end.  However, how does a marathoner train for a 2 mile and a 13.1 mile race one week apart?  This brings me to my awesome workout.  Thursday, I planned to run a 2 mile interval at just slower than 2M race pace (6:24 pace), kinda like a dress rehearsal.  It was tough, but I did it.  After recovering a few minutes, I decided to do it again, only a little slower.  By a little slower, I mean I was still running a 6:54 mile which is around a minute faster than my marathon pace and about equal to my 5k race pace.  After completing that one, I had to recover, but I felt good enough to do another.  By the time I finished my workout, I had done 10 miles total, and 4 - two mile repeats @ 6:54 pace or faster.  Honestly, I didn't know I had that combination of speed and endurance in me.  I'm still pretty psyched and knew I had to post the details.  I also figure that was a great workout for both my 2 and 13.1 mile races.

2 Week Mileage
4/2	17	8:30 pace
4/3	0	rest day
4/4	6	interval 8 x .5 mi @ 6:18
4/5	8	7:24 pace
4/6	10	8:36 pace
4/7	6	9:00 pace
4/8	8	10:00 pace
4/9	14	8:15 pace
4/10	0	rest day
4/11	6	treadmill incline 1 - 4%  @ 8:30 pace
4/12	8	8:45 pace
4/13	3	9:00 pace
4/14	10	intervals 4 x 2M @ 6:24 - 6:54 pace
4/15	5	9:25 pace
TOTAL	101

Something else noteworthy, I had a nice change of pace a week ago Friday.  Fair Weather Runner and I met up for a recovery run, which turned into an 8 miler after we ran the last 6 together.  I do a lot of my training without a running partner, mp3 player excluded, so to run in a different locale with a fresh face was invigorating and made the time/miles pass by quickly.  Our conversation evolved into what I can only assume all chicks talk about when they run:  shoes, spouses, kids, and last but not least, menstrual cycles.  Go with the flow FWR!

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I leave you with some wedding photos:

  Just so there is no confusion "Wifey" is airbrushed right on your ass.    Can I vote all of them off the island?  And the Duck decoys are for?  This would be less creepy if a veil was involved...  Try our new Rainbow Bridge Collection. Flip Flops not included.  Silver tube top wedding dress minus 2 teeth =  Queen for a day  Alice in Pimpland?  Jerome's grand idea.   Professing his eternal love for Tamika by stabbing a life size cake replica of her.  I guess eating the 4 Chalupas was a bad idea the night before our wedding  The moment you realize your mother-in-law is moving to your town  Camo tux. Nuff said.    I now pronounce you Jedi & Paduan    Kegstands...not just for frat parties anymore      Sadly, the Elvis Preacher is the least disturbing part of the picture  Seriously?  Who needs a limo. We've got a whole damned front end loader just for us!  Gravity 101, pay attention kids.  Was he liberated or captured? (Does anyone else hear the Dueling Banjos????) 

It's Me Against The Clock... Literally

We as runner's, probably take for granted some of the logistics it takes to put on a race for us.  I've gotten an inside look at some of the race preparations having timed a few races this past year.  One of the constants every race has is a clock at the finish line.  We're either happy with it when we PR/BQ, or it let's us down when we don't.  Perhaps we're just happy to see it because it means the race is over.  Is there anyone who crosses the finish line without paying attention/looking at the clock?

I am a member of a 300+ member running club here in Wichita.  At the club's last meeting, our race director, said our finish line clock had a mechanical problem and that the manufacturer told him we should be able to figure out how to fix it.  He then asked if one of us would volunteer to try and repair it.  At first, I declined, but no one else was really stepping up to the plate either, so I thought about it and said I would give it a shot.

It shouldn't take long to see what is wrong with the clock in the above picture.  No, you're not dyslexic, well, maybe you are, but either way, it's jacked up.  Certain segments of digits aren't moving properly.  The fact that I can set it to read 8 hours 88 minutes and 88 seconds is another issue that isn't relevant for this discussion.

This is the only race clock I know of in the area.  It is used for our marathon, half-marathon, and the other most popular races held in Wichita throughout the year.  After I accepted the responsibility to fix it, it dawned on me some of the risk I'm taking.  What if I break it worse?  What if I can't put it back together?  What if I did something so that the clock isn't available for a race?  Can you imagine a race without a race clock at the finish line?  I could envision word spreading among the local running community that I was the reason for the lack of a time piece.  They would whisper and point at me at races, and give me the "L" sign on their forehead.  This thing would cost about $3,000 to replace and take time (bad pun intended).

I took the clock to my in-law's house since it was the best place to work on it, and my father in-law knows a thing or two about repairing gadgets.  Once the case was opened up, a quick inspection revealed the bearings  had fallen out on the segments that weren't displaying.

Finally, after reseating some of the bearings, and ordering a couple more from the manufacturer, the repair was finished.

Ok, so I turn out to be more of a hero than a zero.  Not that anyone besides a few will know about my minor behind the scenes wizardry geek squad audition, but it gives me something unique to blog about, and I also get some satisfaction of giving back a little to my running club and the running community.

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Now, what to do while I have expensive electronic running gear in house, doing nothing, and at my disposal?

Can I get me some more shadows in this picture please?
If I drop it, I'll just say I couldn't fix it.

I've got one more crazy little photo to share:

Say hello to my Bank of America 24 string limited edition guitar.
Now I can say my time rocks!

I would have liked to taken a picture of me throwing the clock into the air to demonstrate how time flies, but it is heavy and pricey, and my balls just aren't that big.  Besides, if I would drop it I could show how time comes to a screeching halt.

BTW, I didn't just set the clock to a random number, 3:35:49 is my current marathon PR, and the dorky picture of me standing on my back deck includes the finisher shirt and finisher medal commemorating that glorious day.  I think the clock is needed for a race this upcoming weekend, otherwise, I'd be tempted to hold my own little race with it.

Tribute to National Champion Shockers

Wu-Shock

Before I post what everyone is waiting to read about (my running), I find it necessary to pay a brief tribute to my alma mater, Wichita State University from the mid-major Missouri Valley Conference.  Yesterday, they won the Championship of the NIT basketball tournament in dominating fashion.  WSU defeated five opponents over 16 days, including four from BCS power conferences: the Big 12 (Nebraska), ACC (Virginia Tech), PAC-10 (Washington State) and the SEC (Alabama). The victories, including one over College of Charleston, were by an average of 15.4 points.  They played their best basketball of the season in the NIT.  I have to wonder, since they lost by a combined 5 points to 2 teams playing in the NCAA Final 4 this weekend, how well they might have faired had they played in the NCAA tournament.

This is the first national tournament Wichita State has won, and although not as prestigious as the NCAA tournament, we still had to knock off teams who came in first place in their conference and who beat other top ranked teams throughout the year like Duke, Texas, and Kentucky.

Our mascot is Wu-Shock, and our team name is the Shockers.  A few years back, we adopted a little unofficial hand gesture, called "The Shocker", that independently became popular in some subculture out there.  Every time we beat a team, we say that we gave them The Shocker.  If you really want to know what The Shocker is and are in the mood for something rated R, then listen to one of these songs for an explanation: The Shocker Song, or The Shocker Song 2

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Now, back to my running.  It feels like I've been kind of a blog slacker these last couple weeks, not writing any posts, but I either had writer's block, or I just didn't have anything interesting to pass on.  Some might argue, that's always the case with me.

I haven't run any races lately, and I won't run another until April 23rd when I tow the line for a local 2 miler that is sure to be painful while it lasts.  The weekend after that, I will run the Wichita Half Marathon which I should PR in.  To get ready for both these races, I have cut back from my marathon training mileage, and tried to add in some quality speed work.  I also was able to get in about 40 minutes on the stationary bike this week, which is fewer than planned, but it was due to sleeping in too much.

Weekly Mileage
3/26	15	8 min/mi
3/27	0	rest day
3/28	7	intervals 4 x 1M @ 6:36 pace
3/29	7	8.5 min/mi
3/30	7	8.75 min/mi
3/31	8	tempo 4M @ 7:00 pace, 3M @ 7:54 pace
4/1	5	8.75 min/mi
TOTAL	49

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I leave you with a Friday Funny from the World Wide Web.  If all my crunches don't pay off soon, I've now got a backup plan:

My Week in Running

Let's make this short and sweet, bullet style.  Pay attention, in tribute mockery of Charlie Sheen, I'll merge in some of his quotes, and see if I can make them make more sense than he does.  They almost seem to fit right in:

• I ran in a 5k race on Thursday called the "I just felt like running" Virtual 5k put on by Jeff at Detroit Runner.  I kinda wimped out like I usually do in the winter and ran it on my treadmill.  On the positive side, I ran it faster than I thought I would (21 min 21 sec), and still had something more to give at the end.  I have tiger's blood and Adonis DNA.  Thanks again Jeff for sponsoring the run.
• I had what I considered a moment of clarity after my quads were shredded at the Austin Marathon: Don't run on any more hills Start spinning.  Some of the fastest runners who I personally know crosstrain on the bike, and the bike can give my sorry underutilized quads the workout they've been missing.  So I switched my cross dressing training from the elliptical to the recumbent bicycle.  It seems to be paying off already.  You can't process me with a normal brain.
• I came down with a cold last Wednesday including a fever of 100.7 that night.  I am on a drug, it's called 'Charlie Sheen.'  My other symptoms included the typical runny nose and sore throat. I think I'm done with the last symptom.  This is part of the reason I wasn't expecting to run my Virtual 5k as well as I did.
• I ran 10 Yasso 800s at the gym on Monday.  It's been awhile since I did that many, but I was able to do each one in 3:15.  I'm pretty happy with that.  I have one speed, one gear... go!  For those who aren't familiar with Yasso 800s, the principal states that running 10 of them at the fastest pace you can maintain throughout, will predict your marathon finish such that if you run each of the 800s in 5 minutes 35 seconds, you should run the marathon in 5 hours 35 minutes.  This works for any pace, so if you can run each 800, in 4 minutes, you should run a 4 hour marathon  Therefore, I should be able to complete a marathon in 3:15:00 (BQ for me baby).  Duh, Winning!

Weekly Mileage
3/09	8	8.6 min/mi
3/10	4	Ran 5k in 21:21
3/11	5	8.75 min/mi
3/12	14	9 min/mi
3/13	0	rest
3/14	8	intervals 10 x 800m @ 6:30 pace
3/15	5	8.5 min/mi
TOTAL	44

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Anybody watch The Simpsons where Bart crank calls Moe's Bar and asks him to page certain individuals?  Here's a candidate for one of Bart's calls.

Say his name loud enough for everyone in the room
to hear you.

When Mike Litoris walks in the room, the party can get started.

Friday Funnies, Poster Humor

Before I get to some posters, I want to mention that I had a 75% response rate on 1 of the 7 things I divulged about myself on my Stylish Blogger Award.  In case you missed it, I share a name with a famous adult film star.  Leave it up to porn to get people talking.  I might have to start playing this aspect up a little more on my blog now that I'm discovering there are a lot of perverted runners out there.  Maybe after I qualify for Boston, I can rename my blog "Not 2 Slow 4 69".  One of the more interesting encounters I've had where my name came into play was when I got into a fender bender with this cute little coed about 10 years ago.  When we exchanged information, I noticed her driver's license said she was Amber Lynn.  Of course, she wanted to know why I was cracking up, so I explained to her that I was Jon Holmes, and that both of our names were 80s porn stars.  She giggled as that was news to her, but maybe that knowledge corrupted her a little bit that afternoon.  (See for yourselves the movies they appeared in together)  The only way there could've been more poetic justice that day was if I rear ended her instead of vice versa.

Now that that's out of the way, I try to keep most of my posts about running or related to it, so that makes this the exception.  I figured I would pass on some funny posters.  A little disclaimer, I figure if you're a repeat reader of my blog, you must not get offended too easily.  Which ones do you think are the most funny?