My Week in Running

Let's make this short and sweet, bullet style.  Pay attention, in tribute mockery of Charlie Sheen, I'll merge in some of his quotes, and see if I can make them make more sense than he does.  They almost seem to fit right in:

• I ran in a 5k race on Thursday called the "I just felt like running" Virtual 5k put on by Jeff at Detroit Runner.  I kinda wimped out like I usually do in the winter and ran it on my treadmill.  On the positive side, I ran it faster than I thought I would (21 min 21 sec), and still had something more to give at the end.  I have tiger's blood and Adonis DNA.  Thanks again Jeff for sponsoring the run.
• I had what I considered a moment of clarity after my quads were shredded at the Austin Marathon: Don't run on any more hills Start spinning.  Some of the fastest runners who I personally know crosstrain on the bike, and the bike can give my sorry underutilized quads the workout they've been missing.  So I switched my cross dressing training from the elliptical to the recumbent bicycle.  It seems to be paying off already.  You can't process me with a normal brain.
• I came down with a cold last Wednesday including a fever of 100.7 that night.  I am on a drug, it's called 'Charlie Sheen.'  My other symptoms included the typical runny nose and sore throat. I think I'm done with the last symptom.  This is part of the reason I wasn't expecting to run my Virtual 5k as well as I did.
• I ran 10 Yasso 800s at the gym on Monday.  It's been awhile since I did that many, but I was able to do each one in 3:15.  I'm pretty happy with that.  I have one speed, one gear... go!  For those who aren't familiar with Yasso 800s, the principal states that running 10 of them at the fastest pace you can maintain throughout, will predict your marathon finish such that if you run each of the 800s in 5 minutes 35 seconds, you should run the marathon in 5 hours 35 minutes.  This works for any pace, so if you can run each 800, in 4 minutes, you should run a 4 hour marathon  Therefore, I should be able to complete a marathon in 3:15:00 (BQ for me baby).  Duh, Winning!

Weekly Mileage
3/09	8	8.6 min/mi
3/10	4	Ran 5k in 21:21
3/11	5	8.75 min/mi
3/12	14	9 min/mi
3/13	0	rest
3/14	8	intervals 10 x 800m @ 6:30 pace
3/15	5	8.5 min/mi
TOTAL	44

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Anybody watch The Simpsons where Bart crank calls Moe's Bar and asks him to page certain individuals?  Here's a candidate for one of Bart's calls.

Say his name loud enough for everyone in the room
to hear you.

When Mike Litoris walks in the room, the party can get started.

Friday Funnies, Poster Humor

Before I get to some posters, I want to mention that I had a 75% response rate on 1 of the 7 things I divulged about myself on my Stylish Blogger Award.  In case you missed it, I share a name with a famous adult film star.  Leave it up to porn to get people talking.  I might have to start playing this aspect up a little more on my blog now that I'm discovering there are a lot of perverted runners out there.  Maybe after I qualify for Boston, I can rename my blog "Not 2 Slow 4 69".  One of the more interesting encounters I've had where my name came into play was when I got into a fender bender with this cute little coed about 10 years ago.  When we exchanged information, I noticed her driver's license said she was Amber Lynn.  Of course, she wanted to know why I was cracking up, so I explained to her that I was Jon Holmes, and that both of our names were 80s porn stars.  She giggled as that was news to her, but maybe that knowledge corrupted her a little bit that afternoon.  (See for yourselves the movies they appeared in together)  The only way there could've been more poetic justice that day was if I rear ended her instead of vice versa.

Now that that's out of the way, I try to keep most of my posts about running or related to it, so that makes this the exception.  I figured I would pass on some funny posters.  A little disclaimer, I figure if you're a repeat reader of my blog, you must not get offended too easily.  Which ones do you think are the most funny?

Stylish Blogger Award

Thank you Chris K. for tagging me with the Stylish Blogger Award that has been going around the blogosphere.  Some people have already had this award bestowed upon them several times before, but I am\was a Stylish Award virgin, so I hope to make the most of this honor.

Here's a brief recap of the rules that go along with it:

• Make a post + Link back to the person who awarded you this award.
• Share 7 things about yourself.
• Award 15 recently discovered great bloggers so we can share the love.
• Contact these bloggers and tell them they’ve won.

Here are 7 things about myself that don't have much to do with running, and that I probably won't blog about outside of this post:

1. I Play Drums - I started playing the drums in about 5th grade.  In high school, I played in the drumline and jazz band.  During my college years, I was in a rock 'n' roll cover band called Paradox.  I still get together with those guys several times a year and jam.  
2. I Play Piano - Not as good of piano player as a drummer, but I took a few years of lessons, and taught myself quite a few songs from rock to classical.  Playing drums and piano used to be a bigger hobby of mine until the running and kids kinda replaced that.
3. I Have Asthma - OK, so this might have something to do with running, but I don't have asthma very bad, and I generally don't feel I can use it as an excuse for poor running performances.  I hardly ever get asthma attacks.  I do, however, wonder what role it plays on my overall fitness/VO2max.
4. I Have Horses - I can say I have horses since I pay for them, and do some of the upkeep, but they're really my wife's hobby that I got to inherit when we got married.
5. State Soccer Champion - I was a member of the team that won the 1989 Kansas Soccer Championship for High School.  It is the greatest sporting accomplishment of my life, and sometimes I feel like Al Bundy from 'Married With Children' when I relive my high school glory days.  (I also played basketball for my HS)
6. Porn Star - Did I just get your attention?  Most bloggers know me simply as 2Slow4Boston, some even know my first name is Jon, but for this post, I will let it be known that my real life name is Jon Holmes.  Half of you are probably saying "Big deal, who dat?"  The other half of you are probably rolling on the floor about now laughing, saying "No Fucking Way!".  For the half of you who don't know who John Holmes is, he's probably the most most infamous porn star of all time IMHO.  He died of AIDS in the late 80's, but there have been several movies made about me him ie. 'Boogie Nights' and 'Wonderland'.  Anyway, my name can turn into a conversation piece wherever I go.
7. I've lived out of 2 bedrooms my whole life - I'm guessing that's a pretty unique attribute these days.  I lived in the same bedroom in my parent's house from the time they brought me home from the hospital until the day I got married and moved into my current house.  So I was in my first bedroom/house until I was 28 year old, and I've been living in my current house/bedroom the last 11 years.

It's not as good of a cardio workout as running, but
I can still break a sweat.

Me posing with the championship trophy.
BTW, that is mud all over me.

Our horses Cassy, Garlic, and Onion.

All that's left is for me to pick some other stylish bloggers, so here it goes.  The rules say I should pay it forward to 15, but I will limit my selection to 5 because I'm lazy to make this way more prestigious.  One of my criteria is to choose bloggers who grace me with their comments on a regular basis, so this is one way of showing my appreciation.  Of course I'm leaving some deserving bloggers off the list, but I want everyone to know who I correspond with that I value your interaction!

• Nelly from Nelly on the Run - We share the same taste in Blogger templates.  He gives insightful comments about my running times and my BQ quest.
• Chanda from Slow and Steady - We share the same Blogger template too, and she has the word Slow in her blog title like me :-)
• Beka from Fair Weather Runner - She's the first blogger I met in person, and I find her style of writing to be very entertaining and humorous.
• Paul from 50 is the new 30 - We're both engineers and we both seem to think the same way about training and running.
• Adam from I am Boring - I think Adam has the funniest blog that I read (next to Chris K's of course).  He also has an impressive following.  From what I can tell, he dedicates a lot of time to blogging, and that's on top of his work and family obligations.  As near as I can tell, he hasn't received this little award yet, and that's surprising to me.